"Should I stay or should I go now..." -The Clash

So yeah, the good ol' Clash with all their hit singles. I really like the one, "I fought the law and the Law won," so fun! Anyway, so the meaning of the title for this blog...Should I stay or should I go now, if I go there will be trouble, but if I stay there will be double! That's my favorite line, which is so true. I have a heart to move back home sooner than later, however it's all a mess either way. If I go there will be trouble, there's just some things that might not line up all together, but if I stay there will be double! I am planning on moving because my two roommates are moving out which leaves me with only one roommate and we haven't been able to find anything to live in or anyone else to room with us. So I will either be all mixed up in Indiana, or homeless in New Mexico! haha. No, that's a little extreme, but I definitely am leaning one way obviously. 

Seriously though, here are my fears, which I can go ahead and blog because Faith's the only one that reads this thing anyway...hah. I just know that when I go home I get in the groove of things. It's always comfortable there and I get in this desert place with the Lord. This is really my biggest fear, but I know that if I were to get involved in ministry that this would also help a lot. My thing about staying in New Mexico is that I really don't have the heart to stay here. My big secret on my last blog was that in May of 2009 Faith and Kourtney are wanting to start a church in the Indianapolis area. So no matter I will be moving home, however, it's not for a while still. It's just that I don't really have a place to stay in August through May, my school ends in August and I just started this new job so there's not a huge attachment there. I could start school at Ivy Tech for fall semester, live at home and possibly commute to Lafayette for work. 

I don't know, there are a lot of possibilities in Indiana. On the other hand, there are a couple possibilities here in Albuquerque as well. The Lord could change my heart and find Mandy and I a house to live in with or without another roommate. I would continue in school and move back home in May. Which is really the exact same thing I would be doing in Indiana just minus the desert like weather and adobe houses...haha. Of course, I don't know what's going on, but as always the Lord does. He always, always reassures me in His Word and once again He has spoken. Just this morning He said in Luke 18:1-8, "Then HE spoke a parable to them that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, saying: 'There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God, not regard man. Now there was a window in that city, and she came to him saying, Get Justice for me from my adversary. And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, Though I do not fear God or regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.' Then the Lord said: 'Hear what the unjust judge said. And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that HE will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?'" This verse was just so perfect for what I am going through and just comforts me to know that He is speaking to me, but just now exactly what I want to hear right now. He says that He will avenge His elect and He will speedily. Now that I read that and type it out it sounds a little different then how I heard it this morning. This is speaking more about the avenging of their adversaries, however I was thinking on how the Lord says that He will answer them that cry out to Him. By prayer and supplication is how we are heard and I am definitely praying and crying out to see what He will say, but He says in my time I will tell you. It's like when someone says as soon as I know you will too. Of course the Lord already knows, but as soon as it is good for me to know then I will know speedily. I don't know the Lord is so good and He knows what is right for me. That's why I'm really not freaking out about anything, it's always for Him to decide and I just sit back and wait. Of course I am human and I despise the waiting game, but it's all worth it for a season. 

My brain is a little scattered now that I read this back, but again, who really reads this anyway...hah. Plus truly that's how my brain feels, a little scattered. So I will end with another/ lyric, "This indecision's buggin' me, if you don't want me set me free!" haha. That song is awesome, I tried to get a youtube video of it on here but I can't figure out how to do it so you will just have to check it out yourself!! Here's the website:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqH21LEmfbQ

Well everyone, another interesting blog in the life of Hayley. 

Message me if you have the courage, otherwise enjoy my little blog. 

Talk to you next month with the status!